Category Archives: Brain Dump

Not Trying to Stop a Hurricane

USM Kubang Kerian to UMP Gambang

USM Kubang Kerian to UMP Gambang.

On 15th January 2015, I went volunteering again but this time not in Kelantan. It was in Pahang. When I saw on our university official Facebook page that volunteers from University Science Malaysia (USM) were needed to help the flood victims in PahangI didn’t even think through about it and quickly wrote my name and contact number.

I have never been to Peninsular Malaysia before and Kelantan was actually my first time. So, I was thrilled to go to Pahang for the first time. I just love the fact that I’m volunteering and travel to new places at the same time.

It took approximately 8 hours by bus from USM to University Malaysia Pahang, (UMP) and to go from Kelantan to Pahang we have to pass through Terengganu. I rarely sleep in car and I think I slept for like an hour and just spend my time looking out the window. Besut, Permaisuri, Al Muktafi Bilal Shah were some of the places in Terengganu that I remember we passed through to go to Pahang. We also stopped at Dungun, Terengganu for our morning prayers and for our bus drivers to rest for a while.

We stayed in UMP for 2 days and 1 night helping with whatever we can such as preparing food for the other volunteers from another universities such as UPSI and the victims, of course.

The people there were really kind especially Mr. Khairul, our chef. He was such a good cook. I still can’t forget the appetizing aroma of his Ayam Gulai Cili Api and Nasi Goreng Belacan. Unfortunately, it was super spicy for me and I just ate a little bit. I guess people in Pahang love spicy food.

Thank god, I’m studying in Kelantan instead of Pahang or Negeri Sembilan. They were famous for their spicy food. I think the Kelantanese prefer sweet food. They just love adding sugars to everything even to Roti Canai and I was like WHAAAAT? Too much sugar is bad for you, people! 😀

We went back to Kelantan on 18th and my last paper for Semester 1 was on 20th.

So yeah, my examination for 1st Semester was finally over and currently the flood situation in West Malaysia improves. Alhamdulillah. However, in Sabah (Sipitang, Beaufort and Membakut) and Sarawak the situation worsen. My flight ticket to Sabah was on 22th but my family couldn’t get me at the airport because some of the road were closed due to flood and I was like,

I’m not trying to stop a hurricane,
I’m not trying to shake the ground below,
I’m just trying to find a way to make it back home.

Well, everything happens for a reason and que sera, sera. There was nothing I can do about it.

Enough with the flood and now I’m free! Free as the air. Guess where I am right now? HOME! Yes, I’m finally home. I just couldn’t believed that I’m actually in Sabah right now. I know 5 months is not that long but damn, I miss home.

There were so many things happened to me for the past few weeks. The flood, examination got postponed, bought flight tickets 3 times and everything happened, all in once when all I do is trying to get home.

I hope everyone have a good start on 2015 unlike me and wish me luck for my examination result that will be out this February. I hope I will not need to repeat any papers. Finger crossed!


I made a bucket list once and actually post it here. However, I deleted it afterward because I don’t even think I can full fill any of them or in near future. Alhamdulillah, I managed to cross one of them just before the end of 2014 and it was volunteering.

I have always wanted to volunteer especially to animal shelter but I haven’t get the chance yet maybe because I was still a high schooler back then. Now, I’m a university student and I will not waste my chances 😀

Old Folks Home Sri Kenangan, Pengkalan Chepa, Kelantan. (Sorry for the bad quality.)

Old Folks Home Sri Kenangan, Pengkalan Chepa, Kelantan. (Sorry for the bad quality.)

The first time I went volunteering was to old folks home called Sri Kenangan at Pengkalan Chepa, Kelantan and it was such a beautiful memories. I met Pakcik Ali and he was so friendly and have a really good humor. He reminds me of my own grandfather. It’s kind of sad to know he is currently living in old folks home instead of living with his children and grandchildren because he would make an awesome grandfather! It was 2 months ago and I hope Pakcik Ali and everyone is in the pink of health. I miss you guys already! Not to forget, Makcik (I forgot her name), thank you for teaching me how to cut vegetables. It’s been awhile since I enter the kitchen. Haha. Everyone was playing games and doing fun activities but you insisted to stay in the kitchen because it was your shift, you said. It was fun talking (although I don’t even understand half the things you said) and spending time with you in the kitchen even though I’m not much of a help to you. I tried my best. Haha.

Pakcik Ali

If there are 100 of people, we will know all hundreds but not all of them are our friends. -Pakcik Ali.

On 25th December, I went to SK Lundang at Kg. Lundang, Kelantan with another 23 University Science Malaysia’s students to help 78 families (339++ people) affected by flood and currently staying there temporally. Our jobs were to clean the school and cook lunch and dinner for them. It was a tough job to prepare and cook for 300+ people. We started cooking around 7.30 am until 12.30 pm if I’m not mistaken. It was heartbreaking to see them waiting for us to finish cooking the food since all of them didn’t eat since the night before. We only cook eggs, sardine and rices for lunch and it was not delicious! I didn’t finished eating even though I was freaking hungry since I woke too early and didn’t have any food for breakfast. Hah.

The food we cook was just bleghh and I’m really sorry from the bottom of my heart to the flood victims in SK Lundang 😦

Their dinner were cook by other people and heard that he owns a restaurant. Thank god! We only help with the preparation of food.

This photo was taken by me at Kg. Lundang.

This photo was taken by me at Kg. Lundang.

It was a great experience for me to actually see the situation myself when other people only heard about the flood in Kelantan from TV. I’m glad I joined and can help them.

I even made friends with the 4th year seniors. They were really nice and one of them are from Sabah and he was hilarious! Haha. I should join this kind of activities more. It makes me feel less like socially awkward turtle.

Sekretariat Sukarelawan USM

Sekretariat Sukarelawan USM.

The floods situation in Kelantan was really critical, the number of flood victims rises and even our prime minister describe the situation in Kelantan as a disaster.

This photo was taken at Manek Urai, Kelantan.

This photo was taken at Manek Urai, Kelantan. They said the situation in Manek Urai after the flood was just like the effect after tsunami in Acheh, Indonesia. (Click picture for more photos)

Our examination was postponed for a week because a lot of our students were trapped outside and inside Kelantan due to the flood and landslide. Some of the roads closed for 2 months. It is a disaster! Our university become food storage and others stuff essential for flood victims. A lot of works in need for volunteers such as unloading goods from trucks, packaging food and clothes and distributing all the things to the victims. Everyday, there would be helicopter come and go bringing victims to our university since our university’s hospital, Hospital University Science Malaysia was the only hospital which is not affected by flood in Kelantan.

1 Plastic, 1 Family.

1 Plastic, 1 Family.

Alhamdulillah, I tried to help with everything that I can do such as helping with the packaging of food (1 plastic, 1 family) and clothes (1 box, 1 family) and I even become one of the admin for the Operasi Banjir Kelantan – USMKK. Everything was a new experiences for me and I learn a lot from this tragedy but gahh, I just can’t help but feeling down 😦

I miss home. I miss Sabah. I already bought a flight ticket on 10th January and was really excited just thinking about spending my time with my family but unfortunately, I’m still not finish with the exam on 10th since it was postponed. So, I have another flight ticket on 17th January and  I hope my exam end before that date. I just can’t wait to go home. I just can’t waste anymore money. The tickets was just damn expensive 😦

Fare thee well and wish me luck, silent readers. Pray for Malaysia. 2014 was such a bad year for us, Malaysian. MH370, MH17 and major flooding in East Coast Malaysia.

UPDATE #1: Yeap, need to buy another flight ticket. The 3rd ticket. *sigh

UPDATE #2: The hell?! The exam scheduled change again. There’s no need to buy another ticket. Haha. Alhamdulillah. Hope the scheduled doesn’t change again.

Declaimer: All photos does not belong to me unless stated. Credits to all owners.

Never In My Wildest Dreams

I was known to be that one friend who always sit and just watch other people playing hand ball, foot ball and whatever during PE class since high school. I hate sweating, exercising and just simply moving! I mean, why do you need to move around when you can just sit and lay down?

During high school, I have a group of friends that I always hang out with and all of them join and practice Taekwando and they were really obsessed with it until now. I just can’t understand. Every time after their training or tournaments, they would showed me they bruises and injuries and that’s actually one of the reasons why I hate sports (and can’t ride a bicycle until now.)


Some even have a scar or permanent injury because of the tournaments. You guys need to love yourselves more! Haha.

I’m not scare of blood or whatever, I just don’t like hurting myself. Falling down and get kick for no reason is just a no-no to me. I even hate spicy food because IT HURTS. It hurts your tongue and my face will get red (my face get red easily actually).

Besides, I don’t have any talent in sports. I can not run really fast and I don’t have enough stamina or energy. Awkward turtle.

Well, I do feel jealous when my friends won medals or get certificates especially for sports tournaments because I know I would never get one but the future is uncertain and that’s the beauty of it.

And guess what?

Never in my wildest dream did I think I would join martial art club and actually won gold medal! I mean, what?!!

The first person from right.

MARTIAL ART TOURNAMENT. USMkk Group C. (The first person from the right.)

Back row on the left.

MARTIAL ART TOURNAMENT. USMkk Group C with Kak Billah. (Back row on the left.)

Look at that face, acting cute and stuff. My first gold medal. I’m so proud of myself. Haha. Good job, dear self! *Pat myself on the back*

I don’t have any special or fancy reasons when I decided to join *Silat Cekak like other people. “I want to learn to defend myself when in danger”, “I’ve always wanted to learn martial art.” or “I love to try new things.” bla bla bla because I just want the 6 units for Curriculum so I can graduate.

Again, the future is uncertain. I enjoyed it. The members were so nice and they really practice the Malay’s tradition.

Good manners and keeping with the adat. Even the moves were taken from Salat (Muslim prayers).

The classes were fun even though some of the move or we call it ‘buah‘ were kind of hard to do and hurt you. It felt really great when you do it right and felt like you have accomplished something huge. Haha. The first level, **Peringkat Asas was okay, I guess and I think I did great during the test. I’m currently in **Peringkat Jatuh and it’s really killing me BUT IT WAS WORTH IT.

You don’t really going to understand or know something until you experiences it yourself and I think I know why my friends were so obsessed with Taekwando. Even though Taekwando and Silat Cekak is really different, I get the feeling. Haha 😀

*Malay’s martial art.
** Both are the 1st of the 3 stages in Silat Cekak.

Socialite but at the same time, anti-social

The plan was to meet a friend from another university at Georgetown, Penang on the mid-term break but, sadly, it was cancel at the last minute. How disappointing! But on the bright side, I have 1 week to read all the books published by Fixi that I have always wanted and I can have the room all by myself. Eh? What a loser.

So yeah, I don’t have any plans for this 1 whole week (yet), all alone since all my roommates went back to their hometown and I’m writing this because I’m bored. Boredom kills and I don’t want to die yet. I’m still using Samsung and not an iPhone. JK.

One of my seniors ask me to join this one activity with her for the mid-term break but Sodium Hydrogen. There’s actually a lot of activities I can join during this break but my lazy ass just doesn’t want to move. (I’m so proud of you, dear self.)

I said yes at first to her but then cancel at the last minute by giving lame excuses (but she still bought it. Err, I think so.) because Azsyerrah is just being herself, an introvert and prefer to be alone in her room reading books and of course, she would rather be playing with evil cats on the street and get scratches by the furry demons on her already homely face than socializing with people.

Especially, with people who she can’t be herself.

It was a 1 week program and I was like already tired just thinking about it. I mean it is a mid-term break, a BREAK for god’s sake! A break for everything. I have enough of pretending to like people for about, I don’t know, a month and a half, maybe?

I’m so beat. I do nothing but I’m dead on my feet.

However, I’m not THAT standoffish that you think I am. I can be a socialite (If I’m famous for no reasons, my reality TV show would probably beat KUWTK. Hey, a girl can dream!), I just need to find someone who I can socialize with. The right one and not just anybody. Haha.

By the way, where the hell is my travel buddy? I may not look like a fun person but I can be cool sometimes, you know. We have 4 years to wander. Hurry up and show yourself.

“Masih mencari yang satu cephalic.” -September 22, 2014 at 7:53pm.


Maybe It’s Just Me

I guess they were not so bad after all. –Out of Place.

Yes, they are not so bad at all. Instead, they are really buddy-buddy. Extra friendly.

All of them seems like they have known each other since forever.

It’s just me.

Anti-social? It’s not that, it’s just that the memories I had during my Matriculation year with my classmates were so precious. I don’t want them to be replaced or forgotten and this made me kind of hard to accept new people in my life. Silly me.

I consider my coursemates to be a “temporary people” and I don’t know why even though I’m going to spent my 4 years with them.

Excuse after excuse. Gawd, I’m so good at pushing people away.

And damn, I miss my comrades, Jujul and Rus, How I wish you guys were with me, sitting with me in the back row, seeing Rus going to dream land during lectures and laughing at Jujul’s silly jokes. Matriculation year was fun and game. I’m glad I met them, all of them and I wonder if we’ll ever cross paths again. (Undoubtedly and unquestionably, I need to stop being so sentimental every time I want to write something.)

Moving on..

The seniors here were really nice and helpful. They gave me a lot of their old notes and lend me their Anatomy and Physiology books. I’m really thankful and relieved. They really made my student life easier than what I had imagine. Haha.

Furthermore, I’m from Sabah so some people tried to speak Sabahan (major failure) with me but instead they speak Indonesian and some even thought that I’m from Indonesia. Haha. I’m not mad at all. I find it rather funny. 😀

Some even find my dialect really charming. I guess I like being Sabahan living in Peninsular. Haha.

330 words, I guess that’s enough for today’s entry.

Au revoir, my silent reader and keep reading, my blog has nothing.

Out of Place

Week 1 – 1532 KM from loved one.

I cried. Of course, I cried. I cried a river when I had to live without my family for the first time even though Labuan from Beaufort was not that far away. I can just come home every weekend if I want to. Haha. I’m such a cry baby.

In spite of that, I think I adapted faster in Kelantan compared to when I’m in Labuan. Maybe because it was already my second time I had to live without my family. Beside, I have too. I shed tears but not as much as the first time. Haha.

I’m still new with all of this stuff. Living alone, far away from my family and friends. I miss Sabah. I miss my home, family, cats, friends and lecturers from Matriculation. I miss all of them.

My Sarawakian and Sabahan friends from Matriculation Labuan, they were the best. I had a wonderful time during our 1 year together. How I wish the time we spent with each other were a little bit longer.

See also: Batch 2013/2014

I guess a new journey has just begun. New friends. New environment. Everything is new and I’m all alone.

My first impression of Kelantan? Hmm, how do I begin? Well, I have seen better. I’m not being biased but seriously, the mall, building, airport, roads, public facilities in Kota Kinabalu, Sabah is much better that in Kota Bharu, Kelantan.

My new classmates, well, I need more time to get to know them better and my roomy, I would probably hate you a little less if you are not so noisy and annoying. (Haha. Statement membunuh.)

However, I managed to keep my body and soul together and survived the orientation week. Tomorrow is the first day of class. Azsyerrah, fighting!

Wish me good luck and fare thee well.

UPDATED: Went to Pimpin Siswa (camping) for 3 days and 2 night, rode the same bus for an hour from Kubang Krian, Kelantan to Besut, Trengganu and slept in the same tent with some of my classmates, I guess they were not so bad after all. Heh? And I met 2 handsome seniors! Bonus.

Is This a Poem?


My temper and I,
Just suck platypus shit.

I do not know why but I always have to tell people that I’m not mad. Maybe it was just because of my face or my intonation when I speak. Haha. Well, I’m self aware that I have an ill-tempered but people always said that I’m mad when I’m no even mad.

Maybe because of my harsh intonation. I was like “Apa bah?!” when people called my name and I said, “Tampar kau!” when people were joking or made fun of me but I always ended it with a laugh. Haha. It’s not like I really want to slap your face or anything.

I was just joking. People just don’t get my jokes. Haha.

I do hate the fact that I’m short-tempered and always moody with everyone around me. I just can’t help it. I do try to change my attitude when I first entered college. It was a success at first (I think) but it shows especially when I’m around people that I’m comfortable with.

And I’m very sorry, from the bottom of my heart for my grouchy, pushy and bossy attitude to everyone who had or have to deal with me in the past or in the future.

Not to mention, I’m very harsh and unladylike. Just stay away from me if you have to. Cheers 😀

Apa bah?! – ‘Apa’ is the Malay word for ‘what’ and ‘bah‘ is the most common word that people from Sabah said. I don’t think it has any meaning. Haha.

Tampar kau! – ‘Tampar’ is the Malay word for ‘slap’ and and the meaning of ‘kau’ is ‘you’. ‘Do you want me to slap you?’ Something like that 😀